failure_in_training's Xanga

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 06:52:39 GMT

remind me why i try.

i feel like i could give you 100 reasons why i shouldn't.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:32:24 GMT

i am now reading "survivor" by chuck palahniuk.

i regret not doing more things with my photography, but perhaps i will be out there taking more pictures now. i should really invest in a flickr, too.

i think i'm going to try to bring my camera with me more places in general. i've put baby in the corner for a while now (baby is his name).

expect a poem of epic proportions like today or some shit.

i might try and go to a poetry slam, i think. i might possibly try to read something of mine.

also, i am very proud say that fencing is working out fantastically. i love every second of it, even when i lose because i get to move and i have a lot of pent up energy to burn. in fact, today i had to miss school because i was unable to get out of bed because my muscles were so sore. i've been running two miles every tuesday and i intend to increase that.

i might have to drop math class. i just can't do math.

my new glasses are bright purple.

edit: i took the poem down because it was a piece of shit. i think i'm going to edit it and work on it some more and have it up by sunday.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:30:08 GMT

if i punched you in the face, would you pay attention to me?

clearly the bag of flaming emotions on your doorstep wasn't enough.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 20:20:37 GMT

i swear to god if you forget who i am,
then i'm just going to fucking lose it.

edit: dammit.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 06:34:19 GMT

i fell in love with bitter, angry muscle
hard face, clenched fists with pissy red joints
i force my tongue up against gritted teeth
thin lips pressed together
pickled heart dripping vinegar who are you
and what have you done with
my dream who are you
and what have you done with
my dream

sometimes i get really sad because i remember who i thought you were and compare it to who you really are and i realize how terribly those two concepts clash;
you were a dying breed, the last tragic hero to ever walk the earth, but somehow somehow i realized that you are no better than the forces of evil that had for so long tried to make you fall
i wish for only a day you could see through my eyes the filth you are letting yourself become

please god turn this hurricane of lies
into butterflies
please god turn these lies
into
butterflies.
amen.

(so it goes)

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 06:49:38 GMT

we're all human and so are you
we're all human, and so are we

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 15:22:52 GMT

i strongly dislike "a clockwork orange".

i grabbed "fight club" instead.

i feel like in this picture i can see the curvature of the earth in the horizon.

edit:

i need to get my shit together.
epiphanies, epiphanies
i'm lost, stuck somewhere between biotechnology, photography, journalism,
nursing
"i strongly advise you figure out your major by october"--
but how? how will i know?

i have always been a firm believer that one should follow their heart and do what would make them happy, but i just don't know anymore.

how can you ask me to decide what i want to do with the rest of my life in the span of two months?

i just thought i knew.

(oh and fencing may not work out.)

.

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 04:08:33 GMT

i'm in love with that girl. i know shes going to hate that picture. i'm sorry.

i signed up for fencing club at school :) i think i'm more excited about it than photography club, art club, the gay straight alliance, and of course anime club.

i can't go to all of them, but god i hope i don't pussy out of fencing. god i hope.

i checked out "a clockwork orange"; i wonder what i can expect?

my fingers are tingling, they want to write again.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 05:21:01 GMT

what a long, wonderful trip it's been.

what an abrupt goodbye it was.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:49:06 GMT

the words out of my mouth may as well be chinese to you( perhaps instead of try anymore, i'll move to china)it's the only sensible thing to do;

(i just read the poem i wrote in february, and how terribly scathing it was.)

i wish i was more in touch with my emotions; lately, i've been feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and i'm not quite sure why.

perhaps when i get to china, i'll buy a new one of those, too.